Environs

I just finished my Chinese class and one of the things I thought I would do very quickly before I start working is to write my daily entry. One of the things that’s really difficult to admit to myself is I have plenty of time to do things. It’s really about what I choose to do with my time. My choices reflect my priorities so there is a little difficult lesson in looking at what I’ve spent my time doing and accepting these are my current priorities.

That’s not to say that the things I spend my time doing are the things which are most important to me but rather they’re the things I should admit or recognise were most appealing. There is there is a problem in life between spending time on appealing or convenient activities and those things which are perhaps more challenging or difficult but more worthwhile. I saw a video on the Internet (of all places) where the person said the problem with discipline is that every day looks the same while the problem within indiscipline is that every year looks the same. I could weep.

I would say the problem with little expressions like this one is they’re so painful. There are so many parts of my life I’m happy with. Things I have accomplished, things I have done, the person I am, but there is perhaps a longer list of those things in my life that I am not happy with. Things I feel are the same as they were some time ago. My only reasonable conclusion is that I have a problem with indiscipline.

Take my weight and physique as the most obvious example. I have been well-intentioned about my physical health since I was 17. Decades of indiscipline! There are some things that I’ve made changes with, for example I’m doing a reasonable job of writing these daily entries, but the daily tax of taking enough time to write 500 words is really very light compared to the daily tax of getting out for a run or going to the gym or eating something healthy as opposed to something unhealthy and convenient.

I remember reading years ago, when we reuse a pathway our brain extends and strengthens it. Our most common habits and practises are in essence three-lane freeways along which we can trundle very happily with minimal interruptions. The less-trodden paths are precisely that, less-trodden paths. All the more easy for them to be blocked by a fallen tree or for us to feel unsafe, unfamiliar, or even lost. All the while the very comfortable and convenient three-lane highway is just to the side of us, always available.

For me, one of those three-lane highways is a piece of chocolate or cake. Oh, and watching reels. One of the things about Instagram right now in 2026 is each reel is sufficiently interesting and engaging for me to watch it, but not so interesting and engaging that I stop after having watched it to then think more or to do something as a consequence. It’s a really fine balance. Sometimes they get it wrong and I’ll see a video and put my phone down and go and do something but most of the time I end up scrolling on to the next video. It is very easy to spend hours in this; there’s even a word for it doom scrolling. Recently I’ve started putting my phone in the kitchen while I am working rather than having it with me on the desk on the charger. I find just the reduced availability of the device means I pick it up more often, I look at messages more often, I end up watching videos more often.

So there is something about discipline and indiscipline that is connected to my environment. As I’ve said before, my environment is something I can control.