Category: Reflections

Short ruminations about personal or wider problems

  • More filler

    Wow. There really are more of these than I realised. So much for my new consistent habit. Clearly, I need to do what I was saying earlier and come up with a better plan to deal with those days when travel or other responsibilities make it more difficult to find the time and inclination to get on with writing something.

    I do find this meaningful and pleasurable. This is time with myself, putting words down. One of the good things about that is the way they accumulate on the page. Each one is a small effort. The pressure applied to a sequence of keys to create a word. The fragment of recall needed to ensure the meaning and use makes sense in the context.

    The slightly larger effort of considering whether I have used the word already and might wish to exchange it for another. Then over that, avoiding going too far and using new words which may not be the best fit simply as a result of a desire to avoid re-use, or to thwart Microsoft Word itself as it makes suggestions as to the word I am writing or the phrase I might be about to complete.

    I am not sure why I would fight that. If Word can reduce the number of key strokes required to get something down on the page, ought I not be grateful and simply accept the recommendation and move on?

    OK, I will try to do that a bit more. Let me see, perhaps I should reflect on what was happening on May 18?

    Then again, perhaps not. One of the lessons I could try to teach myself is that diary style entries ought to be contemporaneous. If I want to write about what is happening and how I feel about it then I should do it then, or perhaps shortly after. Once more than a few days have passed then what I am really doing is describing how I feel now, rather than then.

    Not quite what that sort of entry is for.

    I have been here for a couple of hours now. There’s something positive in that. Although I wanted to just work through and crank out all of the required words in one epic blast I don’t think it is so terrible if I have stopped for a moment or two here and there, taking the Iceland delivery for example was hardly a heinous act, but I am still going. And now the end is in sight, with only a handful of entries requiring my attention before I am up to date and ready to write the five hundred words for today, which is the 31 May.

    One of the things I made a sort of promise to myself about was to start some form of small business before the end of the month. It now is the last day of the month and so I need to examine this and either come through or come up with a sufficiently good reason for not coming through.

    It’s not especially hard. The irritating experience with the carpenter who blocked me on Facebook after they posted saying they can make bin stores for people but didn’t want to share any information about the price for example.

    I dropped them (him?) a message and he told me they are £490 including supply and fitting. I added a comment to his post with this price and he got upset saying this was not information they wanted to share as it would open him up to competition.

    I wonder about this thinking, it seems small minded. How much business do you lose by not having a price. In a world where so many things do have prices. Having a price lets me decide whether what you are offering is worth my time or not and even if there are little extras later, gives me some sense of how much I am going to pay for the thing or service.

    I wrote a reply saying something along these lines, only to find I couldn’t send it as the person had blocked me on Facebook. That was annoying and now I find I want to start a little business supplying and fitting these little sheds for wheelie bins. I could offer to pressure wash people’s bins too. Although that would require a much larger investment.

    The things we do when irritated eh?

  • Probably healthy

    It is late, I need to get to bed and get to the very serious business of sleeping, and yet I have not written a few hundred words, or studied much Chinese today. These are important goals and somehow they slip away unless I hold on very tight to them.

    I found time to play a game with Mike, which was good for me. He is a steadying influence. Bought a washing machine too. Just an inexpensive second-hand one from Facebook marketplace. I am not even sure it was a very good deal, the tumble dryer which was advertised with it was a good deal, but another couple bought that right from under me.

    And gosh darn it, they were a cute young couple who travelled out from London by train and insisted on trying it out first before they would buy it. I am pretty sure they are headed for great things if they are going to go do things like that together and talk about things together and share lifes little experiences that way.

    It turns out one of the positive things about it being late is that I am less inclined to sit around trying to be clever or artistic with this writing stuff. It’s just all about hammering on the keys so the words can appear I can count them and then I can go to bed. I mean, I have some pride in the matter. I don’t want to just start coming up with random arrangements of vowels an consonants, a word I wasn’t confident I could spell until I typed it out, when I found I can actually spell it quite readily.

    Speaking of doing things. I realised again today when I picked up the solid oak dining table (for free) and also from Facebook marketplace, that I really need to start a business. The guy who gave me the table runs a couple of businesses which both sound pretty simple and he was renovating a five bedroom house and had a couple of nice cars to park in front of it too.

    Perhaps, as with the writing, I should set myself some form of daily target or goal which will help me to make measurable and meaningful progress towards owning and operating another business. Not least as the current one has run out of money and I have not really considered carefully or made any solid effort to get another gig running concurrently with the one at Heathrow.

    I guess it is fair to say that the controversy around my leaving my last role affected me quite a bit. It was under that cloud that I decided to break up with L, it was in the shade of the diminishing income that I lost a little of my mojo.

    Perhaps reader, today is the beginning of getting some of that mojo back. After all, I just decided not to send the email I started to draft to L. That’s probably a healthy thing no?

  • Podcasting?

    Podcasting with Dave. These first three words are a note I left for myself while writing the previous entry. As I wrote it occurred to me that this is something he and I have talked about and is something we can probably do very well. He and I don’t agree. He brings out the contrarian in me and a little conflict between the presenters might make for a great show.

    Also, we are both likely to be living here for the next few years – oh, that just gave me the thought for the next entry. One moment caller. Ok, done.

    So, what makes for a great podcast?

    Presenters

    The most important thing? Alongside the topic or topics discussed is how you feel about the presenters. I know this is true because I have downloaded audio versions of books I already know I like only to not listen to them because I don’t like the narrator’s voice. Every moment of listening can be unpleasant and difficult, equally every moment can be a small pleasure when the tone, manner and accent fit gently into your audio environment.

    I listen to Ben’s podcast in two ways, first to listen. I ran through the Christmas episode yesterday while working in the house. That was a pleasure and a couple of times I had to stop while I laughed so hard I couldn’t see properly, the creases in my face restricting my vision. Is that a problem in evolutionary terms? Could you beat someone in a fight by first incapacitating them with a joke? Is this partly why it is so difficult to make someone laugh when they are angry, especially when they are angry with you?

    Potential Audience

    At some level, everyone is potential audience. If you make something interesting enough then everyone might dip in to listen to it. Perhaps that ought to inform the way you design a podcast. You want a sort of Venn between things which are direct and relevant to people who understand and know the space well. Discussions about rules and ideas and problems. Perhaps you also want to ensure the way you talk about those things means you make enough contact with the general themes and ideas of like that anyone could listen to you talk about it, even if they never intend to go deeper.

    Topics

    Closely related then are the topics you choose to talk about. I think our intent is to make a podcast about Warhammer: The Old World. That’s a tough one, as it is a niche game in a niche hobby, in a niche interest. Well, that’s still millions of people of course. The good news is that it is positively riddled with ideas and themes which can be opened up and made interesting to a wider audience.

    There are already plenty of people talking about it and the quality level is very low. Like basement level. So there is a good opening for content which is more carefully and consistently produced.

    But I think it would be better to refine our topic selection in a way which opens up the podcast for people outside of the Old World community. Perhaps the most obvious way to do that is to open it up to anyone interested in Fantasy wargames, even just the Warhammer Fantasy Battle games. There have been a series of them and there are people who own the models, like the stores, etc.

    Consistency

    This is the biggy. Ben and his crew have been super consistent. I should really ask him about it. There must have been many challenges along the way. This reminds me of the guy who runs a 5k every day. He talked about how this is usually very easy, but there are lots of days when it requires advance planning. For example when he flex long distance and needed to pack running gear in his carry on so he could run 10k (two runs back to back either side of midnight) to keep his streak running.

    Planning for consistency right from the outset feels like a good idea.

    An observation – writing with purpose is even easier than writing about myself and what I have been doing. Perhaps because of my desire to make myself sound more dynamic and interesting than I really am even to myself when I am alone and writing in my pyjamas? Hah, who knows?