You can contrast these with the inverse of course.There are many, who, enjoying the false sense of privacy that comes from a throng of strangers are quite content to discuss the most intimate and personal of details on their mobile phone. Recently an additional layer of strange has been heaped upon this by the invention of wireless Bluetooth headsets. It is now quite common to see people confidently and often loudly engaged in unilateral conversations on the train. Gauging whether a person is delusional or merely holding a conversation is quite difficult in practice.

One of the most intriguing elements of travelling on the train or tube is the notion of personal space. If you have never seen a video of the sort of thing that goes on in Japan then consider it recommended that you do. The image of white gloved attendants manhandling passengers should prove indelible and fascinating. Once you have seen what goes on elsewhere it only serves to highlight how odd some of the things that happen here in the UK are.

Take most city platforms between 5.15 and 6.30 for instance. A sizeable group of people are present. The main aim of whom is to return safely to their various places of residence an enjoy what may be left of the evening when they get there. Despite this seemingly clear goal they will quite contentedly insist on maintain their personal space, and allowing others to maintain theirs even where this results in a delay to their journey.

BHG has been known to occasionally use the Docklands Light Railway in South East London. It operates a very useful and regular service. During the working week you can nearly always expect the next train to be no more than ten minutes away; often less than three. Despite this passengers contribute tremendously to delay the system wherever possible. At one terminus in Stratford, the queue of persons waiting to board will calmly line up in front of the doors. Five days each week, fifty-two weeks each year the same group of workers and student will form a human wall in an apparent effort to prevent anyone on the packed train alighting and continuing their journey.

Rules of privacy and conduct apply. The same individual stood in line will avoid eye contact and respond aggressively if their personal space is invaded. Just a few stops up the line, on the same line I should stress, at Canary wharf those waiting for the train wil have formed a pair of orderly lines perpendicular to the line in a display of almost spontaneous organisation. Ants would be proud.

Yes, you guessed it.

Representatives from the radical international organisation Tfos Orcim who normally refute utterly and automatically any claim made by their counterparts at Elppa, the conservative monopolistic data giant, stand today shoulder to shoulder, like brothers of unestablished parentage, against the embryo of a common enemy, for there can be no doubt that the fourth of these dates is no present cause for concern, but perhaps represents a shadow of policy to follow. Evets Workless of ELppa, raised from the sick bed to do verbal battle said this morning, “The free sharing, deliberate or reckless, with or without malice aforethought, of any and all data, no matter how carefully obtained, accurate or inaccurate, and however personal is the absolute right of every American and every citizen of the free world. This careful manipulation of the facts by the oppressive regime now in power in the Tyrannic States of Europe is a clear example of why the people of the free world must stand together against responsibility, against privacy, and ultimately against public accountability!”

He continued, while in a breathtaking display of approbation his counterpart nods and smiles.

“Failure to prevent the adoption of so-called ‘responsible data use’ will lead to personal details being kept that way. Will lead to greater trust of politicians, will lead to reductions in crime, improve the profits of data sharing organisati and identity theft, will improve citizens’ relations with systems of government and ultimately undermine and perhaps, though I cannot for a moment believe it would happen, dilapidate and destroy our system of government, Anarchy.”

Despite their emphatic delivery Mr Workless comments may have fallen on deaf ears; only two hundred people were in attendance at his press conference in Sand Hill, Gambia while the TSE press release has been viewed more than three hundred million times and over a million hard copies purchased through the Nile.com internet shopping portal.

This is a GDMNW news bulletin by Gareth Newton-Williams, GDMNW, Alternative News.