As for the rest of you, well, you may occasionally find yourself wondering if the world is really so frantic that persons could credibly not have the time to skip back and correct such a simple error. Once they’ve had done with it, I would further appreciate the removal of the superfluity of exclamation marks too. As anyone who has written or read a great deal knows, one can only exclaim so much before the exclamations are robbed of their potency. Even for teenagers three should be an absolute maximum!

Once the exclamation marks have been reduced or perhaps removed entirely we can then progress to the more substantial point. Using terms more descriptive and useful than wow, or at least less offensive than OMG. At the outset I should like to be clear that OMG is not a word, it is an initialism that is fast becoming popular enough to warrant entry into some of the more accurate dictionaries. Yes, dictionaries are descriptive rather than prescriptive. Not always a good thing.

Back to the point. I found myself wondering today if everyone in the world find themselves making small silly mistakes. Letting go of a key too early, even though you know what to do. Missing the lock with the key, forgetting how to spell ‘the’, tripping over your own feet. Does it happen to you too?

Oh, and I also learned that you can’t search for exclamation marks with a search engine. I suppose it’s obvious now I think of it. If you could, I’d be telling you how many times those quintruple exclamation marks show up.

Word of the day: Tmesis
-noun
The interpolation of one or more words between the parts of a compound word. An example would be un-very-likely as opposed to very unlikely.

This particular visit is worth commenting on as one of the staff noticed the size of my feet. Though to be precise, his exclamation is the noteworthy article, not his first noticing, which could easily have passed unnoticed and unblogged had he remained quiet. Furthermore what was remarked upon were my shoes, which as they accommodate my feet, are large. Let’s be clear. I have large feet. They’re not spectacular record breakers, but they are comfortably longer than a foot (a foot is about 30cm if you hail from the continent) each. The label under the tongue of my favourite pair of trainers (sneakers for those hailing from across the pond) reads in neat print: UK 17.5, US 18, EU 53 CM 36.

Those shoes are tight. I can’t wear them for more than an hour or two for fear of damaging my toes. This isn’t humour; it’s a series of facts. So, now you know. Don’t sympathise. It doesn’t affect me adversely. I sometimes miss ice-skating, skiing and walking down stairs with something more than just my heels but the good certainly outweighs the bad. There’s always something to talk about for one thing. I didn’t mind appearing on television either. But that’s certainly a tale for another time.

Being stopped sporadically by strangers is sometimes a perk and sometimes a burden. For example, a man approached me on a train recently. He had been looking for shoes in the size fifteen region for his nephew. He was nonplussed when he learned that fifteen is the last of the relatively popular sizes. It’s a matter of numbers. Clearly there are enough people looking for shoes up to a size fifteen to justify manufacturer’s efforts. From size sixteen and up it can be pretty lonely. That’s why my work shoes were made by Trickers of London. If you know who they are then you now feel for my parents who were forced to remortgage to support my shoe habit.

To return to topic, ie the shop assistant, he bluntly enquired. How the **** big are your feet? (His amazement apparently eliminating any sense of salesperson decorum that may have existed prior.) When I answered him, truthfully, he refused to believe me. “Nah, can’t be” are, I believe, the actual words the young man employed to express his concern about the veracity of my reply.

If you’re not going to believe people, I ask, what’s the point of asking questions? He insisted on comparing shoes, side by side, and observed again the cause of his original outburst. My shoes were bigger than his. When he began to invite his colleagues to join him I grew first bemused and then inpatient. Any pretence of salespersonship had departed. After a few more moments, so had I.

Word of the day:Boysenberry
-noun
1 – a blackberrylike fruit with a flavor similar to that of raspberries, developed by crossing various plants of the genus Rubus.